A Brief Look At How I Got To This Point

    There is one simple explanation as to why I am having the gastric bypass surgery at the end of the year.  I want to get laid.  Yeah, that’s right. This 34 year-old average looking male with a college education has never officially done “the deed.”  I’m going to spare you fine folks the intricate details into my problem.  Let’s just assume the high probability that you are a perfectly capable adult with an imagination.  Use it now if you wish…
    Now I know that may sound pretty crazy considering there are many more benefits that losing a life changing amount of weight can provide.  Living longer comes to mind.  I also think it would be pretty cool to be able to walk more than 100 feet without losing my breath.  I really could go on all day.  Sure, there are many issues right now that make life seem like nothing more than a list of difficult chores.  But the main thing my mind stays focused on is my virginity. I ache both mentally and physically for sex.  I crave it just as much as the next person.  Not being able to satisfy that craving has left a huge hole in my heart and my psyche.  Unfortunately, the way I chose to deal with this issue only contributed more to the problem.
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Take a look at this guy. He has two frickin’ kids! And they want me to believe that there’s a God?
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    I’ve always been a big boy.  The only pictures I have of me looking normal are of when I was a baby.  I must say that a good portion of my life was great.  I have the best group of friends anyone can ask for.  My family is very supportive. Of course I was always limited in my physical capabilities, but I still lived a productive life.  I started working right out of high school.  When I was 25, I went to college for nursing. I worked as an RN for 5 years.  I’ve even been in two serious relationships, and engaged once!  And those girls loved me enough to overlook the sex issue.  When I look back, I really can’t figure out why my downward spiral started.  I do know that it must have been sometime around 2006.
    That was the year I first thought to myself that I have a legitimate problem with my eating habits.  Most days I would have a regular breakfast and supper.  What I started doing though was about an hour or two after dinner, I would go to various fast food places and eat again. Then after being out for a few hours, I would stop at a convenience store to buy candy bars to sneak into the house.  It got to the point where I was doing this almost five times a week.  I also remember going to the grocery store and buying all kinds of junk food.  It was a big thrill for me to sneak it into the house, and hide it in my room. Any time I was stressed about something (and I frequently was with a sick mother), I would get the most comfort out of hiding junk food, heading for my room, and eating everything I had.  This desire to binge in secret has gotten much better since then. I haven’t fully binged in about a year.  Sometimes I still find it necessary to get a candy bar or pack of cookies to hide in my pocket.  But even that is rare anymore.
    So that leads me to right now. April of 2011. I may not know why I got to where I am today, but I at least have a good idea how.  I spent a huge amount of time dwelling on my mistakes.  Of course that was doing nothing for me.  I decided that 2011 was going to be the year that I actually did the hard work needed to make a significant change in my life. Making sure I could keep my overeating in control was the first step. Getting approved for health care was the second step.  As I keep posting in this blog, I will talk about various appointments I have with doctors. Also, I feel this is a good forum for me to express all the positive and negative aspects of being a large gentleman going through this process. So prepare yourselves nerdy redheads with glasses and tattoos. I’m gonna be one hormonal, energetic bastard by this time next year.
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This pic makes me want to throw my laptop out the window. I am probably the largest human being in central PA. Yecch!